Astronaut Deeply Regrets Eating Chipotle Before Take-Off

(May 2, 2013)

KENNEDY SPACE CENTER, FL – Inspired by Red Bull’s Stratos project in which Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner was sent to jump from earths’ stratosphere, Chipotle Mexican Grill has decided that they too want participate in galactic marketing.

After viewing multiple sponsorship requests, the gourmet burrito and taco chain took the opportunity to be a top funder for NASA’s upcoming moon mission, LADEE.  By funding the project, NASA allowed them to shoot both print and video advertisements featuring the Astronauts “Last Chosen Meal” just 20 minutes before take off.

While Chipotle stated that they are thrilled with the results from the shoot, the Astronauts reported much different opinions. “I’ll admit, every time I’ve launched I get an unsettling sensation in my stomach, but never before like this.” Reported seasoned astronaut Thomas Akers in a radio transmit after the successful launch this morning.

NASA’s ground team witnessed through the cockpit cameras as flaming gas blew out from the bottom of the rocket and the astronauts nervously looked back and forth at one another, bracing themselves for the inevitable.  “Lets just thank god that their uniforms have a capsule helmet”, Said NASA ground technician, Harold Low.

Related News Articles:

–       Closing Space Center’s Leftover Food Donation Results in 500+ Dehydration Related Deaths

–       McDonald’s Debuts New Luxury Menu that Offers Meals Mead with Actual Ingredients

–       WalMart Sued for Discrimination After Not Hiring Blind Woman as Security Guard

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s