Haitian Cab Driver Writes FAQ Sheet to Avoid Answering Patrons Stupid Questions

BOSTON – After months of wishing he could drive straight through a brownstone, Haitian cab driver Fedji Wilson came up with a less destructive way to end his pain and suffering.  By printing a FAQ sheet and posting it in the back of his cab, Wilson is now able to completely avoid his patron’s repetitive questions.  Additionally, he absolutely refuses to pick up students on weekend nights – claiming, “it’s just not worth it”.

What exactly would the customers say to you?

“They treated me like a lost child at Disney World.  Always asking where I’m from, if I missed my family, and if I’d like to go back to them – in a slow and confused voice like they’re lost in a foreign country asking for directions.  That was mostly just from girls, though.  Guys were equally obnoxious.  At least twenty times a day I’d be forced to discuss the economic effects of hurricane Katrina, or explain how I don’t own my own cab.  It took only a week before I could spot and avoid the 2am single guys who are pissed because they couldn’t get laid.”

Did you think of any other ways to solve this problem?

“I tried saying that I was born in Boston and started driving cabs after high school in hopes that there wouldn’t be any interest sparked.  But the bastards would proceed to quiz me on my family, where my ancestors are from, and if I had visited my home country.  So, I next tried turning the radio above speaking level, but wasted kids screaming the lyrics to Teenage Dream may have been equally disturbing.

When did you decide to post the FAQ sheet?

“Last week a girl asked me where I was from, so I answered honestly.  What came next was a lecture about her love for Africa and how after a service trip, where she met real orphans, she became worldlier and inspired – that was it for me.”

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