Pro-Life Gunman Threatens to Kill Anyone Who Enters Planned Parenthood

ATLANTA – Late last Tuesday, Alabama Legislature ratified regulations that will further limit Planned Parenthood’s ability to offer abortion and birth-control services.  By only allowing abortions to be legally performed by out of state doctors in Alabama ER rooms between 6:00pm and 9:00pm on Mondays excluding holidays, the state has once again stepped towards effectively closing the states five abortion clinics.

Though Planned Parenthood’s services remain open to the public, today local person Carol Jackson (22) found herself barred from entering.  “At least once a week for the past couple years I visited Planned Parenthood to buy Plan-B.  I’m used to the banter from protestors when walking into the building – Jesus loves you, burn in hell, your child’s heart beats, you have no heart – trust me, I’ve heard it all.”  Said Jackson outside the clinic.

Keeping her from entering, though, was the pro-life gunman Bill Foster (56).  Despite the recent development in legislature limiting abortion services, Foster believes that the state is not acting with necessary decisiveness.  Therefore, he stationed himself outside the Piedmont Ave Planned Parenthood clinic earlier this morning, threatening to shoot anyone who enters.

“Life is a gift and people need to stop trying to play God”, preached Foster to a crowd of youths who were being held back by authorities from attempting to enter the clinic. “Every child deserves to be born and loved whether they were conceived intentionally or not, and I will not hesitate to eliminate any of you devils whom dare act otherwise!”

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