LOS ANGELES, CA – A noticeably uneasy man was seen walking into the Dr. Reefer Medical Clinic earlier this morning. Suffering from serious anxiety over whether or not he would be prescribed the dankity dank, this restless individual was barely able to speak a word to the doctor without stuttering – relentlessly scratching his shoulders and brushing his fingers through his hair. “Hi Doc-cc, for tha pa-past week I’ve been suf-suff-suffering from se-se-serious anxiety over wheth-ther you’ll per-prescribe me medical mari-mari-marijuana?!”, said the man during his 2-minute scheduled appointment. Looking down at his clip board, Dr.. Reefer began his diagnosis by checking off the patients symptoms. However; with faith in his medical intuition and setting his rubric aside, he quickly stated, “Sounds like you need medical marijuana”. The man will only be prescribed up to 1/8th of an ounce of herb per week, with the ability to buy a limited supply of medical brownies. “By noticing how anxious this man was, I knew off-the-bat that there was only one way for me to help”, commented Dr. Reefer while preparing to diagnose his 23rd patient of the hour. “We start most patients off on a low prescription, but encourage them to return if they begin suffering anxiety over whether or not we will increase their prescription during their weekly check up”.
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