Pro-Gun Senator Scared He May One Day Not Have a Gun To Shoot Themselves With

555842-111210s-alex-fergusonWASHINGTON – Resurfacing hopes for enacting the enhanced background checks proposal that was ‘shot down’ last month by congress, gun control advocates are arguing that events like 2-year old Caroline Sparks’ death “would never happen if adults didn’t have access to guns…that they could then leave loaded on their living room floors…with their children unattended”.


Dumbfounded by claims that background checks could prevent parents from leaving loaded firearms in their children’s reach, many pro gun conservatives now see the gun control issue in a different light.  “I just…I can’t…it’s like…whatever”, said Pro-gun Republican Senator from New Hampshire, Kelly Ayotte.


Ayotte is one of many pro gun conservatives who does not see the point anymore.  Now, instead of working to protect his nations constitutional freedoms, Ayotte only advocates 2nd amendment rights in hopes that he’ll still have a gun to shoot himself with once he feels the time is right – which he reports, “doesn’t appear to far away.”


“There is no point in debating anymore”, said Ayotte when walking out of a Senate meeting in a zombie like stupor.  “If they want to blame forks for making people fat, pencils for misspelled words, and guns for killing people, that’s fine – all I ask is to be able to keep a few rounds and a working trigger for myself.”


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