Obama Lowers US Unemployment Rate After Realizing that Mothering is the Hardest Job on the Planet

WASHINGcooking togetherTON, DC – During a recent press conference addressing unemployment in the US, President Obama reported that this coming Friday he will be enacting new legislature that will effectively drop the US unemployment rate by approximately 0.89% – creating over 1,000,000 new jobs nation wide.

 

The President explained that while discussing Mothering in the 21st Century during his last appearance on The View, he largely agreed with the women that, “being a mother is the most difficult job on the planet.”  Therefore, the legislature being passed Friday will recognize American mothers as employed citizens – accounting for the drop in unemployment.

 

“On a daily basis mothers have to work as chefs, maids, entertainers, disciplinarians, chauffeurs, personal dressers, and doctors, not too even mention maintaining a home on the side”, explained the President. “It’s only fair that we recognize them for their hard work!”

 

Said to be a “great triumph” in the current administrations fight against sexism, feminist groups nation wide are applauding the president for this progressive action.  As one spokeswoman for the Nation Organization for Women put it, “Once again, in one bill the president has taken a step towards equality and bettered the economy.”

 

In Other News:

–       Majority of Americans Reportedly Believe Surgeon General to be a Military Doctor

–       Biden Says he is in Full Support of the National Organization for Women and Would Enjoy Getting to Know them Better

–       Current Administration Drafting Government Funded Employment Benefits Bill for Full Time Employed Mothers

4 responses to “Obama Lowers US Unemployment Rate After Realizing that Mothering is the Hardest Job on the Planet

  1. Does this mean if a married couple with children are divorced and the man is given custody of the children, the wife can draw unemployment?

  2. The only reason Ovomit chose to make Mothering a job is to make himself look like he’s actually doing something. He continues to be a stupid, empty suit.

  3. So when the kids move out, are they now eligible for unemployment compensation checks?

    Serriously, PLEASE tell me this is satire.

  4. Cooking the books and BSing the kool aid drinking sheeple. Unemployment is actually near 20% but the don’t count those that have exhausted their benefits or given up on finding work.

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