MIAMI, FL – Earlier this morning friends and family gathered at the BS Country Day school to commemorate the hard work that their student’s teachers had accomplished over the past four years. After hurriedly handing the graduates their diplomas, staff from each department of the school proudly recited speeches they had prepared themselves, detailing how proud they are of what they have been able to accomplish with this class of students. “Thanks to the dedicated staff and teachers we have, our school was able to achieved its highest GPA average to date”, said school principle Timothy P. Kinsley, “we could not be more proud of ourselves.” While all the speeches were moving, the most impressive part of the ceremony was undoubtedly when Ms. Merlyn – the school’s college councilor – humbly recited the list of top ranked schools that she had been able to get her students accepted at. “This year we will have our students attending Harvard, Stanford, Brown, Princeton, Yale, MIT and even Columbia” “you’re welcome”, she confidently declared. All the achievement awards were saved for the end of the day, though, so staff could recognize themselves for Excellence in Teaching and Enablers of Higher Learning. However, to make sure that everyone who had been involved in making this day possible was given their due credit, even the gym teacher was recognized as Most Improved and Very Influential.
In Other News:
– FSU Changes Academic Calendar to Start During Summer Due to Seasonal Preference of Dean
– Science Professor Sad that His Family Didn’t Come to Graduation Ceremony
– Current Events Teacher Caught Using Same Exam as Last Year