Shark Proof Wetsuit Company Offers Money Back Guarantee on Products

wetsuit2MELBOURNE, VIC – From disruptive sonar gadgets to faux seal buoys, the surfer safety gear market has had a long and mildly successful run.  However, much like with humans, it is extremely difficult to keep sharks from eating something they want – even if they know it’s bad for them.  And as a result, many of the most promising shark safety technologies have been short lived.

However one small company in Melbourne recently developed a technology that has caught the attention of surf enthusiast worldwide.  A technology that has supposedly eliminated the greatest danger in the sport for ever. How does it work you ask?  Well, it’s simple.

By printing upon their wetsuits designs which resemble poisonous fish, or the ocean itself (making them “invisible”), the company claims that their products visually hide and/or repel the beasts from surfers.

“A shark can smell one drop of blood, ONE DROP OF BLOOD, in a 1000 cubic-meter-area”, commented Shane Swift, the brains behind product design an marketing at the start-up.  “And because of that acute sense of smell I thought to myself, “why not try to disguise them from the sharks already poor eyesight?””

Swift understands that the product is a bit novel and may take some time before it is understood.  “Look, I get it, this is serious stuff – Shark attacks and all.  But at the same time we believe 100% in our product.”  And it is because of that Swift dreamed up and proudly promotes the companies Product Performs or Your Money Back Guarantee.

“In my mind, this technology is bullet proof.  That is why I tell everyone that if the product doesn’t work, if you do have an issue in the water, don’t think twice about it because the suite is on the house!”

At press time, Swift was overhead explaining an additional business opportunity he was working on using the same guarantee but with a design of his for a new style of parachutes.

In Other News:

– Jeans Company Advertises “Two for One if The Fit’s Not Right!”

– Airline Reports Outstanding Consistency with Apologizing to Customers in a Timely Manner

– 10 Products You’ll Only Try Once

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